Note: Edward Hermann plays Max, the video-shop owner who in reality is the boss-vampire. His true nature as a vampire
isn't revealed until later in the flick, and is "concealed" by some incompetently-written deceptions, but I drag it into the
daylight at once. I'd call this a spoiler warning, except this flick started out spoiled.
Oh, yeah. The term "Lost Boys" derives from "Peter Pan." This should not cause anyone to confuse this movie with the works of Sir James Matthew Barrie; "The Lost Boys" lacks the intellectual depth and emotional sophistication of even the Disney version of "Peter Pan."
[MERRY-GO-ROUND AT SEASIDE AMUSEMENT PARK. SEVERAL TEENAGE VAMPIRES ANNOY PEOPLE ON THE MERRY-GO-ROUND]
Tom Servo: Looks like the writers used their favorite Brujah characters from their favorite WhiteWolf campaign.
Crow: And spent extra character points on the "Look Grungy" and "Brainless Sneer" advantages.
Joel: You mean disadvantages.
Tom: Like the guy who took the "Resemble Sean Penn" disadvantage.
[FAT RENT-A-COP APPEARS]
Cop: I thought I told you to stay off the boardwalk!
Crow: It's bored enough already.
[LIGHTS START GOING OUT IN DESERTED AMUSEMENT PARK]
Tom: Time to roll up the sidewalks, too.
[FAT COP WALKS THROUGH PARKING LOT TO HIS CAR]
Joel: Wow, he makes me feel safe.
Tom: You wouldn't say that if you were a doughnut.
[UNSEEN VAMPIRES SWOOP DOWN ON COP; HE FRANTICALLY TRIES TO OPEN HIS CAR DOOR]
Joel: He's so calm in an emergency.
Crow: If he can't figure out that he needs to unlock the door--
[CAR DOOR FALLS OFF]
Tom: But the lock still works.
[CREDITS FINALLY ROLL. ACTOR'S NAME: BARNARD HUGHES]
Joel: Uh-oh.
Crow: It could be worse.
Tom: How?
[KIEFER SUTHERLAND]
Crow: Does that answer your question?
[CAR AND TRAILER ROLL DOWN PACIFIC COAST HIGHWAY; MOM AND TWO KIDS, YOUNG SAM AND OLDER BROTHER MICHAEL, SING WHILE DOG LOOKS ON]
Joel: I notice the dog hasn't joined the family singalong.
Crow: He's too talented for this group.
Tom: Too bad, they need a decent lead singer.
Sam: Smells like something died.
Tom: The audience's interest.
[GRAFITTI ON SIGN: SANTA CARLA--MURDER CAPITAL OF THE WORLD]
Crow: And of course nobody will take the hint.
[SOUNDTRACK: "WHEN YOU'RE STRANGE" BY THE DOORS; SEE LOTS OF WEIRDOES, PLUS POSTERS OF MISSING KIDS.]
Tom: This town has more flakes than a case of terminal dandruff.
Joel: Would anyone notice mere vampires in this crowd?
Tom: Vampires wouldn't be caught dead here.
Crow: And where in this town did they find all those innocent kids for the posters?
[CAR HAS STOPPED]
Michael: Any jobs around here?
Dude: Not for you.
Tom: Too bad this dude wasn't the casting director.
[CAR DRIVES UP TO LODGE]
Crow: Where did Michael suddenly get the motorcycle?
Oh, yeah. The term "Lost Boys" derives from "Peter Pan." This should not cause anyone to confuse this movie with the works of Sir James Matthew Barrie; "The Lost Boys" lacks the intellectual depth and emotional sophistication of even the Disney version of "Peter Pan."
[MERRY-GO-ROUND AT SEASIDE AMUSEMENT PARK. SEVERAL TEENAGE VAMPIRES ANNOY PEOPLE ON THE MERRY-GO-ROUND]
Tom Servo: Looks like the writers used their favorite Brujah characters from their favorite WhiteWolf campaign.
Crow: And spent extra character points on the "Look Grungy" and "Brainless Sneer" advantages.
Joel: You mean disadvantages.
Tom: Like the guy who took the "Resemble Sean Penn" disadvantage.
[FAT RENT-A-COP APPEARS]
Cop: I thought I told you to stay off the boardwalk!
Crow: It's bored enough already.
[LIGHTS START GOING OUT IN DESERTED AMUSEMENT PARK]
Tom: Time to roll up the sidewalks, too.
[FAT COP WALKS THROUGH PARKING LOT TO HIS CAR]
Joel: Wow, he makes me feel safe.
Tom: You wouldn't say that if you were a doughnut.
[UNSEEN VAMPIRES SWOOP DOWN ON COP; HE FRANTICALLY TRIES TO OPEN HIS CAR DOOR]
Joel: He's so calm in an emergency.
Crow: If he can't figure out that he needs to unlock the door--
[CAR DOOR FALLS OFF]
Tom: But the lock still works.
[CREDITS FINALLY ROLL. ACTOR'S NAME: BARNARD HUGHES]
Joel: Uh-oh.
Crow: It could be worse.
Tom: How?
[KIEFER SUTHERLAND]
Crow: Does that answer your question?
[CAR AND TRAILER ROLL DOWN PACIFIC COAST HIGHWAY; MOM AND TWO KIDS, YOUNG SAM AND OLDER BROTHER MICHAEL, SING WHILE DOG LOOKS ON]
Joel: I notice the dog hasn't joined the family singalong.
Crow: He's too talented for this group.
Tom: Too bad, they need a decent lead singer.
Sam: Smells like something died.
Tom: The audience's interest.
[GRAFITTI ON SIGN: SANTA CARLA--MURDER CAPITAL OF THE WORLD]
Crow: And of course nobody will take the hint.
[SOUNDTRACK: "WHEN YOU'RE STRANGE" BY THE DOORS; SEE LOTS OF WEIRDOES, PLUS POSTERS OF MISSING KIDS.]
Tom: This town has more flakes than a case of terminal dandruff.
Joel: Would anyone notice mere vampires in this crowd?
Tom: Vampires wouldn't be caught dead here.
Crow: And where in this town did they find all those innocent kids for the posters?
[CAR HAS STOPPED]
Michael: Any jobs around here?
Dude: Not for you.
Tom: Too bad this dude wasn't the casting director.
[CAR DRIVES UP TO LODGE]
Crow: Where did Michael suddenly get the motorcycle?